“On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (John 7:37-38)
There was a stillness in time that we found while sitting outside by our Koi pond. Leo stretched out beside me, relaxing from the sounds of nature. Trent seeking serenity from the warmth of the sun. The calming rhythm of the water flowing down the waterfall and around the rocks soothed us and put our minds at ease. As the water filtered and pumped back to the surface it reminded me of how the Living Water flows in us, through us, and back onto others.
I witnessed this example, day in and day out, as I looked into the eyes of both Trent and Leo and saw Jesus looking back at me. Although the sorrow weighed heavily on my heart as I watched the suffering that my boys endured, it was the Living Water that filtered through me that lifted my sadness away. It was then replaced with the peace of His love.
I saw the highest level of love bestowed upon my boys. God gave Leo the strength to persevere through his illness, while shining light onto others. God provided Trent with the strength to accept it, while inspiring others. This resulted in me gaining the strength to push through my own day, while encouraging others. Their faith became my faith and God became our shield.
In my stillness I was awakened to time. Time to see what really matters in life. Time to know God’s heart. Time to feel God’s presence. I recognized that I was in a moment of earthly time, but it was God’s timing that I needed to align with. Just as Jesus boldly proclaimed the truth of His Word and God protected Him until it was His time, I will boldly proclaim my trust in God’s plan. Accepting the loss of my two sons, who were ultimately always His, was part of me trusting that the clock ticks on God’s pendulum and not my own.
As we walk in the will of the Lord, nothing or no one can touch us. Fear of the unknown can’t shake us. Only He knows our time, and until then, I will spend time in the river of His love.